I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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