you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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