She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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