I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
