Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
