Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize