I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
