i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't deserve a penis
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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