If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
