I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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