I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
