I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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