Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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