i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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