You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
