I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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