Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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