I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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