She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
