she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
