Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
