Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
