dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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