nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
