So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
