That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize