Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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