Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize