you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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