also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
