i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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