Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
where am i from again
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
