the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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