I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
