Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
