She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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