dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
