We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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