She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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