I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
