Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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