Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Boobs speak an international language.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
