either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
