So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
