Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
