I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Terrible idea I love it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
