Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
