Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
