I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
