It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
