my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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