you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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