So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize