that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
