dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He better not be in your backpack
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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