So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
