hotel room ftw
More tranny stories later!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
