he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You ruined the universe
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
