Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
