I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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