You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
