We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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