I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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