he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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