That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
