i don't like sucking hair
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
