yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize