That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
