I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
