Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
