But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
