PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
