she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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