so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
