M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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