ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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