Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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