Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
