Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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