I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
