we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
